"the time has come," the walrus said

usually in my trips home to cheney there comes a point in which i don't want to be here any longer. i tend to find this town and spending all my time alone in the house, suffocating and depressing. usually within three days, my family is fighting and all i want to do is get back to places and people who have grown with me the last couple of years. usually.

not this time.

these last couple of weeks have been really nice. my obligations were to no one but myself. i spent my time reading like a maniac, converting home movies from vhs to dvd, and staring at our tree all lit up in the dark. the television was mine, the run of the house was mine and most of the hours were mine. my family got along relatively well also. these couple of weeks seem surreal.

but it is time to go. i'm off to colorado for new year's, a new adventure i'm very excited about. and then back to bellingham to begin my last winter quarter of my undergraduate career.

today, a bunch of us from the old high school gang met up. it was the most fun i've had with this group of people in a long time. i can't remember the last time i felt excited to catch up on everyone's lives. even though the room was filled with laughter and the stories just kept coming, there was a noticeable dark silence hovering over the room. it's only a couple of months since nathan died; it felt like he should be in the room with us. we all miss him but no one said anything. i guess it was implied.

call this post sentimental if you will.

i will see you in 2010.